My Next Pacemaker Surgery

I found out a few weeks ago that something is wrong with my pacemaker, and it has to be replaced. At first I was really scared. I still am a little scared, but my Mom explained that they are just taking one out (both of my old ones) and putting a new one in.

I'll keep you updated on how things go.

Thinking about Other People

Because I have a pacemaker and my scars, I think that I am more kind to other people who are different. I don't think it is funny to make fun of other people if they have issues, because we all have them or we all will have them. I do not use words like "retard," even just being funny. I have met people with Down's Syndrome in my life, and they are probably some of the nicest people I will ever meet. When I think of someone like that, I am grateful to have my pacemaker--instead of something else. I think I have a good life. I love my life.

Pacemaker Checks

Pacemaker checks are really very simple. I do some checks over the phone where they just put stickers on my chest. Some of the checks I do in the doctor's office. I have to stay real still.

When they put the magnet over my pacemaker, I can feel my heart slow down. It does not hurt.

Life with a Pacemaker

Even though I have a pacemaker, I stay active. I play tennis, and I LOVE to swim. I go swimming a lot in the summer. I also want to be in the Drama Club next year. I stay very busy.

We have trees on the side of our house, and we also have some near a lake where we live. I love to climb them! I have gotten a lot of cuts before, but it doesn't slow me down.

Most of the time I don't even notice or remember I have a pacemaker. I move a lot, so I am always making new friends who don't know I have a pacemaker. One day in the fourth grade, I told my friend Ashlyn that I had a pacemaker, and about 10-20 people came up to me and asked if I seriously had a pacemaker. They thought it was so cool. A lot of times I am popular for a while when people first find out. Some of the boys don't care though. It is pretty funny.

I think I am like any other pre-teen. I enjoy hanging out with my friends, listening to music, and going to the movies. I go to the beach a lot with my friend, Morgan, and I love it there.

My doctor says the pacemaker is about the size of a Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookie (which I love--yummy, my mouth is watering just thinking about it). Sometimes I am surprised that something so small can last so long.

The Scars

I have several scars on me from my pacemaker surgeries. I have one down near my belly-button that is about 2 1/2 inches across. I have another scar that is about 3 inches that runs up and down (Mom says its called "vertical"). I have another one just beneath that one that looks like a star; it has five dots looking like the points of a star. I have one up near my shoulder that looks a little like a hill.

Sometimes I like to feel the wires connecting to the pacemaker. I can feel it just by touching the hill-like scar. It is pretty cool.

Sometimes my scars make me feel very different, but some days I think they are pretty cool. It just depends on what type of day I'm having.

Lamby

Before I was born, my Papa gave my mom a little, pink and white lamb (that is shaved) for me. The lamb went with my mom to the hospital, and they put it in my bed with me after I was born. It rode with me in the ambulance too.

When I was older, I named it "Lamby." Lamby went with me to my second pacemaker surgery too--even in the operating room. She is going with me to my third pacemaker surgery next month. Lamby is over 10 years old now. She is older than me!

I think it's helpful to have a special stuffed animal with you along the way. I used to talk to her and let my feelings out. I felt like she was listening, and I knew for a fact that she would not make any comments! In my mind, she would talk to me.

My First Surgery Thoughts

I do not remember my first pacemaker surgery, because I was only a few days old. I was almost three-years-old when I had my second surgery. I remember a few things about it. There was a room across the hall from me that had stuffed animals, games, other toys, and videos. I remember getting pulled around in a wagon that was made into a bed.

After my surgery, I remember the nurse asked me if I felt different. I told her "Up here it's itchy," pointing to where my new pacemaker was. She took off a bandage, which I thought was a sticker. There was my scar.

Lots of my family came from near and far to be with me. Someone brought me a Beany Baby Bear that was white with a blue heart on its chest and a blue, silk ribbon around its neck. Mommy told me its name was "Earl Bear." It was named after the man that made the first pacemaker. I still have it today.