The Delivery

From the time I arrived at the hospital, things progressed quickly. I was excited about Grace's pending arrival, but I was scared that her heart would be too fragile to sustain her. In the delivery room, the anesthetist was making sure I was numb. The staff were busy setting up their stations. I was impressed by their efficiency and sense of purpose. The team was in place, and the surgery began. Bill was at my side. I knew he was scared too; I saw it in his eyes. I then heard the sweetest sound in the world—Grace’s cry! I knew it was a good sign. Grace was shown to me briefly and then whisked off to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).

The next few hours for me seemed like eternity. I had not been prepared for the separation from Grace. I needed to finish the C-section surgery, and then I was off to recovery. This was in the days before digital cameras, but someone was kind enough to take a Polaroid shot of her and attach it to my bed. Looking at it made me sad—I had waited so long for her to be here, and yet I could not hold her or look at her. Finally I was able to get into a wheelchair and go to the NICU. My first glimpse of her was a bit overwhelming; she looked so vulnerable. She weighed only 5 pounds, 12 ounces. There was a large plastic "hood" over her head providing oxygen. The nurse put Grace in my arms. Holding her was awkward. Wires were everywhere, and I had to hold a hose with oxygen up to her nose. It was surreal to hold her in my arms.

Dr. Robert Puntel, Grace’s Pediatric Cardiologist at Madigan Army Medical Center was wonderful. His plan was to first access how well Grace’s heart functioned on its own. In doing so, he allowed me time to recover so I could join her at Seattle Children’s Hospital, which is 40 miles away. I spent as much time as I could with her in the NICU. When I was not there, Bill or some of our family was with Grace.

By day two, her heart was not responding to the medication; she needed the pacemaker surgery. She was transported by ambulance up to Seattle. Bill followed in the car. The physicians allowed me to be discharged early since April is a Labor and Delivery RN. She drove me up to Seattle. The pain from my C-section was greater than I anticipated, and I got around at Seattle Children’s in a wheelchair. The NICU there was much different than the Madigan Army Medical Center NICU. There were some seriously ill and premature babies. It was company I was reluctant to keep--the gravity of Grace's condition descended upon me.